Savor
Today’s post is part of the Christian Writers blog chain. The theme this month is savor. Well, here goes!
Last Sunday was my weekend to play keyboard at church. Rehearsal time for the band is 7:15 AM. I like to get there around 7:00 AM to make sure I have time to get set up, which means I have to leave about 6:45 AM.
On they way to church, I treated myself to a McDonald’s sausage burrito. I stopped at the first drive-through window and paid the clerk. My mouth watered as I anticipated the warm, artificial cheese, pork product, and reconstituted egg goodness. Then, I arrived at the second window: the one with the food. The clerk handed me my coffee first and the bag second. The bag with the food—the food that would sustain me through a 7:15 AM rehearsal.
Almost drooling, I parked my SUV, removed the burrito and opened the wrapper. And that’s when then odor hit me. The thing smelled like Play-Doh. I have nothing against the smell of Play-Doh, but not in my food. And what’s worse, the burrito tasted like it smelled. Because I was still hungry, I held my breath and consumed the salty, doughy conglomeration of food-like substances. I didn’t savor my Sunday breakfast.
By its nature, fast food is not meant to be savored. It’s designed to be prepared, sold, and eaten quickly and cheaply. It doesn’t last. It doesn’t taste good. It’s fast, cheap food for fast, cheap living. The opposite of savoring.
Image from thewvsr.com
Being a writer geek, I immediately applied this experience to my writing, to how I like to write and what I like to read. Savoring is an act of the senses. When you savor something, you take the time contemplate what you’re experiencing. When I read, I want to know what the character feels, tastes, and smells. That is also how I like to write. As an example, I’m going to discuss two passages, one that I can savor over and over, and another where the author could have done a better job. I’m going to start with the latter first.
My first example is from Amanda Hocking’s novel, Hollowland. If you’re not familiar with Amanda Hocking, she’s a self-published author who has sold about eleventy-kabillion ebooks on Amazon.com. I have nothing against self publishing. In fact, [[SHAMELESS PLUG WARNING]] I’ve finally decided to self publish my own book, Oath of the Brother Blade, in the next few weeks. However, I think I would be safe to say that Hocking’s books are the literary equivalent of fast food. She can crank out a novel in about a week or two, and her books range in price from free to $2.99. Nothing wrong with a fast food book every once in a while, but you don’t want to make it your complete diet.
Hollowland is set in the very near future in which civilization has been run over by a zombies. In this scene, the main character is removing a gun from the hand of a dead soldier:
The thick ooze of zombie blood covered my hands, and I grimaced. I finally found the clip, along with his service revolver. He’d been using a semi-automatic shotgun, and it was still in his hands. I pulled it free, hating the way it felt to loosen a dead man’s grip.
In writing, you don’t always savor pleasant sensations. In this passage, Hocking missed out on a wonderful opportunity for some major gross-out savoring. The passage leaves me with lots of questions. What did the zombie blood smell like? Was it still warm? What did it feel like on her skin? Did it burn? Was she worried about getting the zombie disease from touching the infected blood? Was the dead man’s hand still warm? Was it stiff? Did touching it remind her of her boyfriend’s hand?
Since this is the first time we see up close the effects of a zombie attack, Hocking should have taken advantage of this scene to draw us into the visceral, disgusting, traumatic horrors of a post-apocalyptic zombie-infested world. However, we’re only given a scant description of what should have been a shocking scene.
My next example of savoring is from Tosca Lee’s novel, Havah, a story of about and Eve told through the point-of-view of Eve. In Havah, Lee masterfully allows us to savor all the delights of Eden that Eve experienced in her newly created body. It also demonstrates the horrors of sin after Adam and Eve disobey God.
In the following scene, Adam leads Eve to experience water in a river for the first time:
We entered the water. I gasped as it tickled the backs of my knees and hot hairs under my arms, swirling about my waist as though and around a staunch rock as our toes skimmed a multitude of pebbles.
This passage is only two sentences long, but it’s a masterpiece of showing through the senses. Lee doesn’t say that water is cool, clear, deep, and gently flowing. However, we know the water is cool because Eve gasps when she steps in. We know the water flows gently because it tickles the backs of her knees and the hair in her armpits. (Yes, everyone, Eve had hairy armpits. But the big question is, did pre-fallen bodies get BO?) And we know the water is clear because even though it goes up to her armpits, she can still see the pebbles under her toes.
So how about you? Have you read anything that draws you in with the senses, that makes you want to savor each word? Do you know any authors who are especially good at writing for the senses? I’d love to know.
Havah and Hollowland are available at Amazon.com.
Oath of the Brother Blades
There are 26 Comments to "Savor"
[...] 3/22: Samuel R. Choy, Samuel R. Choy [...]
Great post, Sam. If you do have to run through the golden starches again for breakfast, the McGriddles are better than the burritos (assuming you like sweet stuff, that is).
As for the writing examples, good choices both times. I’ve never read either book – probably wouldn’t read Hollowland unless paid to (zombies aren’t my thing) and just haven’t gotten around to Havah yet. Now that I’ve read a snippet of it, I definitely will be picking it up somewhere, somehow.
So many people don’t appreciate the benefit of sprinkling ‘savor words’ . Great post.
Havah is an awesome book. I read it just a couple of months ago. You’re right that Tosca Lee gives writing that can be savoured. I can’t think of a better example than you’ve already given.
Thanks for your article.
Thanks for the comment, Adam.
What a great writing tip – to appeal to the scent sense!
What are the details of your book?
Hi Chris. Thanks for the comment. My book is a YA fantasy. It has fairies, trolls, knights, and a peasant kid named Thomas.
Well, Samuel, after reading your post, I can tell you that I’ll never eat one of those burritos.
As far as writing goes, I think it depends on genre, pacing, and the author’s voice. That’s why they’re so many different categories to choose from. We all savor different things.
Thanks for the comment Debra. I don’t think I’ll get another McDonald’s burrito either. Yuck.
Great post I will savor.
Thanks, Debra
Hi Samuel,
Good Job.
I read your post yesterday, but I was not feeling well. So, I saved my comment for today. The sad thing is, I’m still not feeling too great. Anyway, I thought I should at least let you know that I came, I read, and I liked.
I loved your contrasts between Tosca and Hocking. I have noticed the kind of empty, plastic, and cardboard writing you highlight in this post. I call them “formulas,” as they all seem to be following the same bad pattern.
I have been planning to give examples of good writing as you requested, but I have been thinking none too clearly the last few days. When I am feeling better, I’ll try to come back and add some. I’m sorry I’m not up to it at present.
Thank you for a very thoughtful and intelligent post.
Sandi, thanks for commenting even when you felt bad. I hope you are feeling better now.
good post.
why do we think that our next fast food visit will taste better than last time?
Two words: Clever Marketing
Samuel, I enjoyed the phrase “By its nature, fast food is not meant to be savored. It’s designed to be prepared, sold, and eaten quickly and cheaply. It doesn’t last. It doesn’t taste good. It’s fast, cheap food for fast, cheap living. The opposite of savoring.”
I don’t eat at fast food places much anymore-for the facts you mentioned- I have become more of the adage “You are what you eat” that includes everything we consume through all our senses.
Blessings with your adventure in self-publishing- look forward to hearing more about your upcoming book.
Terrie, thank you for your kind words. Personally, I’m trying to lose weight, and probably should not have gone to McDonalds. At least it gave me something to blog about.
Interesting post. All things being equal, I think I’d rather eat Play-Do than be forced to read that junk about zombies. For the life of me I cannot understand the current fascination with magic, zombies, werewolves, vampires, et al. Enjoyed the short taste of Havah…I’ll have to look for it.
Peace and Blessings
Thanks! I’d definitely recommend Havah. As far as
Hollowland goes, I’ll let that be your call! To be fair, the zombies are the result of a mutant rabies germ, not magic. However, I do believe Hocking has written a lot of paranormal stuff.
I’ve read HAVAH by Tosca Lee, and you’re right – she does a wonderful job of describing all the details and making us feel as if we were right there. I’ve never read anything by Hocking, however, and since zombies aren’t my particular ‘food craving’ I probably won’t.
Havah is the only Tosca Lee book I’ve red; it is certainly not the last. She’s a wonderful writer. Likewise, I have only read part of the Hocking book.
I downloaded it from Amazon because 1) it was free and 2) Hocking has sold so many books, I wanted to see what the appeal is
Excellent, Sam! Truly a masterpiece. This sentence:
“My mouth watered as I anticipated the warm, artificial cheese, pork product, and reconstituted egg goodness.”
has me positively gagging!
Thanks, Pegg. I used rent a farmhouse. We had all the advantages of living on a farm and none of the responsibility. The actual farm land was rented to a real farmer. But we did have 10 chickens. There’s nothing like freshly laid eggs for breakfast. On the other hand, most fast food stuff simply yucky.
I totally agree! I have a flock of 20 laying hens and you can’t beat fresh eggs. Well… you can beat fresh eggs… if you beat them enough, you can make an angel food cake. Bwahahaa! Poultry humor.
Wow, this was great, Samuel! I totally and completely loved your point that fast food is not meant to be savored. “Fast” and “savor” are entirely contrary!
Excellent examples of savoring in writing. Using as many of the senses makes the writing so much richer. No examples come to me, but I’m looking forward to hearing what others say.
Thanks Carol! I’m looking forward to seeing what others say too.